Birds

Sing for me sunshine

Sing your heart out

Beneath the polished exterior

Letting out the pain earthed.

Present

Sometimes I wonder:

What would it be like to be here?

I wonder with my mouth open.

I wonder with the tail of my ballpoint pen in my mouth

and a funny taste in my tongue.

Where has this pen been?

 

I look at the pen.

It talks back to me,

“I’ve been to the bathroom once and that’s where you picked me up.

Do you remember washing me afterwards?”

Surprised, I say, “I’m not big on hygiene and I don’t talk to inanimate objects!”

I haven’t disinfected my cellphone in ages.

 

These days, ballpens are on Facebook chatting about fingers, hand sizes, hairy arms, nail polish brands, watches, rings and bracelets they like and dislike. I’m gonna have to let out a squeal here because this isn’t the world I dreamed of when I was a 90’s kid playing with a orange toy car that I had to steal back home when my parents visited a friend and it was pitch dark when we left.

 

I was there, present.

Chasing Souls

We’re all doing it –

we talk,

we eat,

we crumble,

we fall.

 

Potential.

I don’t see any.

I’ve been hurt before

and unkind to people.

It’s affected my soul –

To blame others,

not look within.

What was my mother thinking when she gave birth to me?

Am I supposed to be here?

Thoughts like this,

harass me,

day and night.

 

Night and day.

They’re the two sides of the same coin.

That’s what people are like.

One day they’re as scary as the night

and next they’re days,

aligned,

with the sun.

The kind we chase.

 

From the day of our birth –

we’re souls chasing the sun.

The sun inside of us.

Bright.

Like that feeling you get

when you’re falling in love.

Love isn’t easy;

we all know that,

so, we keep on chasing,

we keep on breathing,

we work,

we fight,

we regret and make amends.

Basically, we make mistakes.

We all do it.

One after another

we fail,

forgetting to love.

 

Love wasn’t taught to me.

Do you remember being taught to love?

You’re not alone.

I’m here for the chase

just like you

and him

and her,

everyone is

a chasing soul.